Family conversation guide — talking to a loved one about gambling
This guide is for adults in Ireland preparing to talk to a partner, parent, adult child, sibling or close friend about gambling that is causing harm. It is a worksheet, not a script — the conversation that works best is the one that sounds like you.
Before the conversation
- Pick a calm time. Not after a row, not at the end of a long day, not with a fixture on.
- Sober, in person, no phones on the table.
- Decide on one ask, not ten.
- Tell one trusted person beforehand so you are not carrying this alone.
What to say
- Lead with what you have noticed, not with what they 'are'.
- Use specific examples — the missed bill, the late-night phone, the change in mood.
- Ask, do not tell. 'What is going on for you?' opens the door.
- Name the impact on you and on the household, without exaggerating.
What to avoid
- Ultimatums in the first conversation.
- Diagnosing — 'you are an addict' usually shuts the door.
- Bringing up every past incident.
- Trying to fix everything in one sitting.
Possible next steps to suggest
- Look at the GamblingHelp.ie self-check together.
- Call Gambling Care (1800 936 725) — together or alone.
- Try one Gamblers Anonymous meeting (in-person or online).
- Speak to MABS together about any debt.
- Set up a bank gambling block and self-exclusion this week.
Look after yourself
You are allowed to seek support whether or not your loved one does. Gam-Anon Ireland is for family members and is free, confidential and peer-led. Your GP can be a useful first point of contact if this has been going on for a long time. If at any point you feel unsafe, call 999 or 112.